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"One never tires of the subject of love, and the mystery of human love and divine love remains
inexhaustible. Although humans are created to love and be loved, many confuse love with sentiment,
and others fear the loss of freedom in the commitment to love another. As von Balthasar acknowledges,
the forces that frustrate love are legion: the struggle to earn a living, the decline of Eros, the
clash of opinions, and the irritating faults of the other person all impede the natural destiny
of love, which is intimate communion between persons in an 'I-Thou' relationship. Father Bonnici's
careful illuminating exposition of Balthasar's 'dialectic of love' takes us to the heart of the
mystery. Because all human love -- whether it is between mother and child, between husband and wife,
or between friends -- is modeled upon the paradigm of the Trinitarian love between Father, Son
and Holy Spirit, it is dynamic, energetic, overflowing and circulating. As Father Bonnici explains,
'In other words, the love of God the Father, Son and Spirit is somehow mirrored in the love
experienced between created human persons.' Using the famous story of Damon and Pythias from
classical antiquity and the love between a mother and her infant, Father Bonnici illustrates the
central themes of love in Balthasar's work: persons cannot live social, human lives 'without
entering into meaningful relationships with others'; true friendship is 'Trinitarian in form' in
its circulation of giving and receiving, flowing and overflowing, incoming and outpouring; the
relationship of love embodies the communion between an 'I' and a 'Thou' which is a powerful
revitalizing 'grace-filled event.' ...Thus, as Father Bonnici demonstrates so clearly, the other
person is not some obstacle to freedom or object of frustration but a 'sign of hope,' an 'extension
and circulation of triune love,' and 'a constant source of surprise and satisfaction.' ...Like
the tides of an ocean or the cascades over a waterfall, the ever-flowing, ever-whirling love
between the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit signifies the paradigm of human love in its constant
giving and receiving and in its outpouring and overflowing. Whether it is the love between true
friends, between mother and child, or between husband and wife, it is triune love that makes the
world go round." --Mitchell Kalpakgian, Ph.D., Magdalen College,
Warner, NH in Homiletic and Pastoral Review, June 2001
"Bonnici begins and ends his work with a reference to Damon and Pythias. The king in this classic
story is in awe of the love of the two men in his custody and looks for the secret to their
friendship. Bonnici uses the story to return to his basic theme and that of von Balthasar, that
'interhuman love [is] an opportunity to participate in the horizontal manifestation of Divine
love. Participation is made possible in the person of Jesus Christ.' This, then, at the end as at
the beginning, argues von Balthasar, 'To become a Christian is to come to the Cross.' One finds
that Bonnici does precisely what he told us at the outset that he would do, 'Make available the
ingredients necessary for the construction of a dramatic and concrete Christocentric friendship.'"
--John Cardinal O'Connor, Archbishop of New York in the Foreword
"John Bonnici, a priest of the Archdiocese of New York, directs the Family Life-Respect Life
Office of that archdiocese. He begins with accounts of some personal friendships in the life of
Hans Urs von Balthasar: Rudolf Allers, Eric Przywara, Henri de Lubac, Karl Barth, and Adrienne von
Speyr. Then, making extensive use of von Balthasar's writings, he treats the mother-child
relationship and the origin of love between humans; friendship and love in scripture; true friends,
the image of the triune God, and mutual participation in the mission of Christ; human sexuality
and the love of friendship." --W. Charles Heiser in
Theology Digest, Summer 2000
"Fr. Bonnici is a priest of the Archdiocese of New York and Director of its Family Life-Respect
Life Office. His graduate studies were at the Gregorian University and John Paul II Institute for
Studies in Marriage and Family. Utilizing the philosophy of Balthasar and other sources, Bonnici
intends to define those ingredients necessary to create a real "Christocentric" concept of
friendship. Bonnici writes of friendship from the experiential perspective of the "I-Thou"
dimension and the importance of interpersonal communion. He writes "a theological study of
friendship must begin with human experience." Bonnici goes on to examine the commandment of love
in the Synoptic, Pauline and Johannine tradition. The author's chapter on "Imago Trinitatis Dei"
reiterates Balthasar's concept that true friends are persons made in the image and likeness of
God, able to lovingly come together in their mutual participation in Christ's mission. Bonnici
then applies this idea to marriage, religious life, and the single state in an excellent chapter
on human sexuality. This is a fine book -- taking a simple concept like friendship and enriching
our understanding with a wealth of information from Scripture, Christian tradition, and current
theology. In an age when impersonalism is rampant, this book offers a lucid rationale for why
Christians must find love and friendship somewhere with one another. Recommended.
--Arnold Rzepecki in Catholic Library World,
December 2000
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John S. Bonnici is a priest of the Archdiocese of New York and
present Director of its Family Life-Respect Life Office where he supervises marriage preparation
programs that reach thousands of couples each year. He received his STB degree from the Pontifical
Gregorian University and and STL and STD in Moral Theology from the John Paul II Institute for
Studies on Marriage and Family. Along with Fr. Joseph R. Giandurco he co-authored a very popular
handbook for the celebration of Catholic marriage: Partners in Life and Love. (Alba House, 1996).